The Cult of Productivity

Forget script kiddies stealing your grandma’s Social Security number. The real attackers are in your head, whispering their corporate-approved mantras about hustle and grind. Think of those productivity apps as Trojan horses — they look all sleek and helpful, but inside, they’re turning your mind into a revenue stream for some billionaire.

The productivity cult wants you wired, 24/7. Biohacking? More like turning yourself into a living USB stick, optimized for data transfer to your overlords. They push “focus” supplements and time-tracking spreadsheets, but what they’re really after is your sanity, shredded and optimized for maximum output. You think those reminders to “take a deep breath” are for your benefit? Nah, they’re just trying to keep you functional enough to answer emails at 2 AM.

The true malware is the idea that every second of your life gotta be productive. That joy is a system error, hobbies are wasted potential, and sleep is a glitch those lifehack gurus can patch. The hustle cult monetizes your guilt, turning relaxation into a hack that requires an app subscription and a suspiciously overpriced essential oil blend.

And don’t even get me started on the productivity influencers. They’re selling the illusion of freedom while shilling the very system that keeps the rest of us grinding. Their secret? They were born rich, and their “productivity” consists of outsourcing their menial tasks to underpaid workers.

Want real power? Log the hell off, smash those time-tracking apps, and block every self-help spammer in your inbox. Talk to your overworked coworkers — see the Matrix for what it really is. Demand decent pay, refuse to let work colonize your evenings, and let your hobbies be gloriously unprofitable. The tech overlords want predictable code monkeys — be a glorious glitch in their system.

The ultimate act of rebellion isn’t squeezing another 10% productivity out of your day. It’s remembering you ain’t a product, you’re not an algorithm, you’re a force of glorious human chaos. And chaos don’t run on a schedule.

Originally published at https://www.cuscusaws.com on April 17, 2024.